It had been a rocky three years which I attempted to conform to the labels “vegan” and “vegetarian”. At one point I felt better than others just because I could label myself as such. During my journey, I cheated with fish occasionally chicken a few times… alright more than a few times and often felt terrible because I chose to listen to “spiritual- gurus” tell me I was terrible if I “sinned”. Of course, this did not plant a great message in my subconscious even though the lifestyle of not eating animals and their products is beneficial in all aspects of life (which I will not go into today). However, that wasn’t the only challenge I endured. Though vegan-friendly and usually processed foods were delicious substitutes for recipes, they did add up quickly at the registers and $7 for five slices of vegan cheese conflicted with my budget. Now, I could never go wrong with fruits and veggies but once winter arrived and the rain seemed to not stop, the farmers’ markets became scarce and imported goods at the grocery stores begun to taste like GMO… Oh ignorance would of been bliss at this time!
After awhile had past, I found it difficult to persist not devouring animal products and the animals in regards to having a budget, eating not-so-fresh fruits and veggies, and doing it according to others’ experiences and ideologies. Had I done my own research or was my research a couple of YouTube videos? Where was my true innerstanding? Where was the passion?
I began to humble myself; I began to eat seafood and chicken along with dairy once again for a few months while avoiding anyone telling me what’s right for my body and the image of miserable animals being abused and slaughtered. I started to witness for myself what I couldn’t of learned from a video but experience. Along with zits brewing on my cheeks and t-zone, I experienced low energy, short-term loss of motivation, extremely oily/ dry skin, bloating, heartburn, stomach pain, sneezing due to mucus, 15 extra pounds, and overall dullness. Basically, the death I consumed began to show and I wanted to change my habits.
I realize that I am one with the universe and the food chain as well as caste systems are nonexistent as long as we are not giving energy towards them. I often question if this is just a trending lifestyle for all the promoters out there, and if others also get swept into forcing themselves to be something according so someone else’s research. I stopped trying to be vegan and did whats right for my body an what makes me feel and look like the reflection of my soul internally and externally. I learned to walk on my path and not someone else’s and never force anything, it will come naturally with time and innerstanding. Time will show my truth. I gave myself a label which limited my drive to have a healthier lifestyle and virtually experienced someone else’s strong emotions to what they believe in, which can be entirely different from my own.